Remember Me
by TakeAFlyer
Summary: When a coworker offhandedly comments on what could've been, Takagi is forced to face his biggest fear: what if he wasn't the one for Satou?


******Disclaimer**: This work is completely fiction, not-for-profit, and is not intended to infringe on any rights by and of Gosho Aoyama and/or other entities involved with production of the Detective Conan franchise.

**Remember Me**

******Chapter 1: **Haze

As a note, single quotes are thoughts. And the longer texts in italics are flashbacks.

* * *

:

Takagi replayed the event in his head over and over again, cringing every time he remembered Satou's hurt expression.

Yet at the same time he couldn't blame himself. He couldn't bear to be near her. After work he promptly turned his cell off and drove straight home, forgoing dinner altogether. He at least managed to take off shoes before collapsing onto his bed.

He was just too tired. His mind was strained and beginning to lose coherency. Thinking about this, about anything was too difficult.

_'Damn... Why did they have to bring that up during break today?'_

* * *

:

_"Yeah, still can't believe it."_

_"Neither can I actually…" Takagi said while grabbing the back of his neck, nervously laughing. _

_"Who'd think Takagi out of all people managed to snag her?"_

_"I definitely thought Shiratori had the greatest chance." _

_"But I heard he's dating some other chick… A teacher?"_

_Everyone in the circle began delving into chatter all with their own unique opinion. Takagi just wanted to stay silent. It was good enough they weren't trying to kill him for taking away Satou from everyone. _

_"But you know, you gotta wonder…" Inoue pondered, his loud voice and large frame commanding everyone's attention again. "What if, you know… HE was still around."_

_A solemn silence took a hold of the group, partly out of respect for their colleague; but mainly because at one point or another, everyone had once held that same thought. _

_Including Takagi._

_Matsuda Jinpei needed no introduction to anyone in the homicide division. He had sharp eyes, needed for his line of work in the bomb squadron. However when the serial bomber who took his partner's life resurfaced after several years, his superiors quickly transferred him to homicide. He was partnered with Satou, perhaps the only one who could reign in him in. And it was no secret to everyone, through their bickering Matsuda and Satou came to understand each other, that mutual respect even turning into love. _

_Yet before anything could progress further, Matsuda died on a case, by the same serial bomber he tried to apprehend in order protect innocent people. _

_The case finally settled when who other but Takagi had a major role to play in catching the elusive bomber. _

_The death hit everyone hard. Matsuda fit in with many of the officers and always spared a smoke for others. However no one was affected harder than Satou. She began to refuse partner after partner, clearly stating her preference to work alone. Yet that changed once Takagi got transferred in and got forcefully partnered with her. _

_The very person who caught her past love's murderer and her new partner... It was juicy story in the back of everyone's mind in the office._

_"C-come on guys, that's in the past. Satou san moved on from that." Takagi said that more to calm himself down. Whenver he thought about Matsuda he was somehow able to push him out of his thoughts.  
_

_Yet with all eyes on him, this time proved impossible. His insecurities lingered. His body began to feel heavy. _

_"Perhaps. But you can't help but wonder. Those two never did get together."_

_"Yeah."_

_"I remember Matsuda telling me how much of a pain Satou was, but I think that was just a term of endearment looking back on it."_

_"Those two were a good team." _

_Takagi stood there, his heart pounding loudly. His worst fears were gripping onto his heart. He began to feel dizzy. He didn't know what happened back then, but from what he heard… Everyone had a point. _

_"All I'm saying is that life is unpredictable. Who knew what could've happened if Matsuda lived..." Takagi seriously wanted to punch Inoue in the face.  
_

_"What's with the atmosphere around here?" The voice came from Yumi, who made her way to the near empty coffee pot. She always had a knack at appearing when something controversal came up in conversation. _

_The rest of the officers shifted about nervously… No one wanted to discuss the matter with one of Satou's closest friends. _

_Takagi, thankful for the reprieve in voices left immediately._

_"Hey! Takagi!" Yumi said wanting to chat with him for a moment. She was sure he heard her, but none-the-less he didn't bother to stop or spare a glance. "What's up with him?"_

:::

_Takagi reached his desk, unintentionally slamming his coffee mug on the surface. Droplets splashed all over his desk, on his sleeve, on all the documents sprawled about. _

_"Shit."_

_"Woah, let me help." Takagi knew who that was and for the first time ever, he unhappily groaned upon hearing Satou's voice.  
_

_"No. Don't bother. I'll handle it." _

_"O-Okay… Well once we finish with work we're getting dinner right?" Satou asked, trying to hide her confusion over Takagi's distance and harshness._

_"I… " Takagi sighed. "I'm not…. I can't.."_

_Satou grabbed Takagi's arm before he could walk away. He quickly yanked his arm away. Her very touch made him feel guilty. It reminded him of Matsuda. And then it hit him: he was living what Matsuda would've if he was still alive. _

_"Hey, what's going on?" She asked, slightly angry and confused. Takagi never acted like this.  
_

_"I just…" Takagi's voice rose in anger. Taking a moment he managed to lower his tone. Frustration clearly evident on his face. "Just don't come near me."_

_At that very moment Takagi felt as if his heart was shot. As much as he regretted his words, he couldn't must up the energy to say 'I'm sorry'. Anything he said wasn't worth for Satou to hear. _

_So he just walked away. _

* * *

:

_I'm so dumb. I shouldn't have snapped like that.'_ Takagi thought. He was laying face up staring directly into the light above him. Upon realization he was blinding himself, he covered his sight with arm. Every movement he made was out of frustration, and nothing he could do could make him feel better.

_'You're only like this because you know everyone is right. If Matsuda was alive, Satou would definitely be with him right now.'_

Everyone liked Matsuda. From what Takagi heard he was passionate about his work, and was good at it too. In comparison to himself, he could barely manage to do anything right. While Matsuda relied on his skill, it felt like he got by on luck.

In comparison to Matsuda, Takagi felt inferior. He ran a list of comparison between the two in his mind, only to come out as the loser every time.

_'Satou cares for me… She likes me…" _He repeated in his head over and over again. Trying to comfort his bleeding ego. Yet, his mind drifted towards the negatives again: How long had it been since they began to date? Heck, they probably wouldn't be together right now if he hadn't almost gotten shot through the heart.

_'She likes me... But she loved Matsuda.'_

Takagi yelled in frustration.

He looked at his alarm clock. It was 1:31._  
_

For the past three hours he had done nothing but wallow in guilt and self-pity.

_'Matsuda wouldn't do this. He was too cool for this._'

He glanced over to see his phone right next to the clock. For a split moment he thought about calling Satou.

Yet on the other hand his eyelids began to close and his fatigue became very noticeable. Was he tired? He couldn't tell. His face felt flushed, probably due to the alcohol he drowned down earlier. That was only thing that could get him out of bed at the moment.

He felt himself reaching towards the phone, but he couldn't remember anything else once darkness overtook him.

* * *

**A/N:** My first DC fic! I know I've seen some stories that have tackled this similar plot line, the whole: what if Takagi wasn't the one kind of theme, but here's my take on it. Despite the length and dialog, I hope Satou and Takagi appeared in character.

Thanks for reading!


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